There was a time not too long ago where for me being skinny would have been at the top of my wish list. And as shallow as that sounds I can bet that 99% of females have had the same thought.
The runway is full of stick thin girls and horror stories of models surviving on an apple and coke diet grace the pages of magazines. I can only think of a handful of girls that have gone into the social scene that is Hollywood and come out the same size they were when they went in.
We should all work hard to achieve what we want in life, whether that be a great body or change of career or lifestyle in general but when does it reach the point of being too much? When do we cross that line between doable and dangerous? When do we start doing things not because they are what’s good for us as the individual but because we think it’s what other people will like more?
I love the saying “Men are from mars, women are from venus.” It wasn’t until I started to get a bit older that I started to appreciate what this saying actually meant. For example now I know that when I write a long message to a guy and he simply puts “ok” it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like or want to talk to me, it’s just that he’s more likely engrossed in the footy game he has on with his hands down his pants. Or if I need a good cry I don’t go to my boy bestie because he’ll get weirded out and start making inappropriate jokes about my “hot” Mum to ease the situation. Accepting that men is different is just a part of life.
But much the same as they don’t think as emotionally as us or with their hearts, it would seem they also tend to differ from us on our opinion of the “perfect body” and our perception of what guys think is attractive is actually not the case for a large majority of them.
I asked the males in my Facebook friends list what their opinion of the perfect female body was, giving the options of thin, curvy and athletic.
The results were as follows:
Thin 0%
Curvy 78.5%
Athletic 21.5%
Now isn’t that funny. It would seem that although we as females tend to be right (most of the time, c’mon guys!) the boys have got something right here for a change.
Whilst I understand that some people are genetically very thin regardless of what they eat, a lot of what we see in the media is not natural and therefore not achievable at a safe level. The bodies I’ve seen and heard of friends and young girls trying to achieve just isn’t feasible yet we still beat ourselves up when we haven’t accomplished it.
I’ve battled with body image like a lot of us out there and I can honestly say that the one of the worst times for me has been when I’ve strived to achieve a body shape that isn’t practical for me physically, emotionally or mentally.
Yes I want to be the best version of myself but not at a cost to my happiness or more importantly, my wellbeing. So now it’s about eating more of the right things and working out because I enjoy it and it’s what leaves me feeling my best. I don’t under eat as a quick fix or stare longingly at size 0 models desperately hoping that one day I’ll be able to run in a bikini and have nothing that wobbles apart from boobs. I do what’s right for me and accept that however I turn out, whatever clothes size my body slips into, that will be what the big man upstairs intended.
Much like my thin friends who can eat and eat what they like and remain tiny, I shall land on whatever size I am to be as me. Not as a result of a crazy starvation diet but of a realistic, sensible and healthy approach to living a lifestyle that suits me and my needs.
It’s common sense. We have one life and if we do it well then that’s all we need. A mars bar will only make you happy for a second and starving yourself will leave you miserable for hours so realise that there is no logic to either and approach it from a different angle.
Real foods, heart pounding exercise and big laughs. That’s the stuff right there 🙂
This Pecan Princess 
Well written Emma, I believe the most attractive “shape” for a woman is “Healthy”. When people talk in terms of “curvy” or “thin” etc I think we all have a different perception of what those words mean. I am thin, but have certainly never ever starved myself – I couldn’t think of anything worse! I still have hips, I still have a butt, but I’m a size 6. I don’t “diet” but I do try to be healthy and do moderate exercise. I have known girls bigger than me who eat healthily and exercise just as much, if not more than I do, and they are just bigger framed people – they are healthy and look great. I have known girls who are the same size as them and eat Maccas every day and sit on the couch….they are simply not attractive.
I think a shift towards aiming for “health” rather than a certain size is a good one. Although, one unfortunate trend I have noticed is a tendency now by many people to “thin bash”. The horrid pictures put up on Facebook saying things like “real men want meat, not bones” are incredibly insensitive and rude. They are no different to someone making “fat jokes”. They imply that someone who is thin (and there are lots of us who naturally are thin, not starving ourselves) are unattractive. I see a fair amount of misunderstanding in the move away from chasing a “thin” body in exchange for a “healthy” one – being that many girls have only chosen to read the first part! Being overweight is dangerous to your health, there’s no intelligent dispute about that, so the focus needs to be on being healthy, and that needs to start from as young an age as possible. It really is almost impossible (barring a serious health issue) to be grossly overweight whilst eating healthily and exercising. So I guess my point there is that just as naturally thin people should not be judging naturally bigger people, the opposite also applies. Negative comments about your body shape when you are being a healthy version of yourself hurt no matter what size you are.
My rule for myself is this – the weight I am at when eating healthily 80% of the time and exercising at a level that I can comfortably keep up long term (e.g. not forcing myself to exercise every day, knowing I don’t enjoy it), is my perfect body shape.
I think there are many healthy body shapes and sizes and as long as you are following a healthy diet and doing some exercise, you will be the best version of yourself, and that, in itself, is the definition of attractive. 🙂
Thank you for your response Jenny 🙂
I am sad to agree that I have seen this “thin bash” that you speak of and it is just as cruel and uncalled for as is making jibes at someone with a larger body frame. No one person is the same and we should all focus on being the best version of ourselves and stop the comparisons with others.
I simply love your approach on the perfect body weight for you being one at which you land on when working out for enjoyment and eating well 80% of the time. So much so I am going to make a comment about this on my This Pecan Princess facebook page as it really does send out the positive message I hope to get accross to others.
Once again thank’s so much – I really enjoyed reading your feedback!
Aww thanks Emma 🙂 And thank you for your blog posts so far – I’m loving them. You really are inspiring me to live a healthier lifestyle – and enjoy it along the way!
Thank you, that really does mean a lot 🙂 I hope I can continue to raise the bar!