Be careful with “I Wish”…

Today I saw a woman I was in complete awe of. She was taking part in a Cross Fit challenge at Perth Exhibition Centre and rocking a full on 6 pack in a sports bra and tiny shorts. Her physique was simply incredible, no other way I can describe it. And whilst her body was something of a masterpiece in many ways and I felt a huge amount of respect towards her, I have to say I was glad to find myself saying to my friend “She looks amazing but I wouldn’t want that body”. Why you ask? Well because I realised soon after that whilst I would like to be more toned or a little leaner or change certain parts of myself, like 99% of us do, I could appreciate this woman for what she was without an ounce of jealousy and not by comparing myself to her.

How many times have you seen a person and found yourself wishing that you had what they had? Wishing you were as thin as them? As fit as them? As pretty as them? And then begun to compare yourself and start picking apart each little thing you aren’t quite happy with about yourself? Done that recently have you…?

Jealousy is a nasty little thing. It can steal away present moments and bring out a side in people they never knew they had. You are always going to come across someone who has something you want or who seems further along in life than you; they could have an amazing job, that caring partner or those ripped arms you one day see yourself showing off in a halter neck.

But the beauty of working towards your own goals and being the best version of YOU and you only, is that when you see others achieving their own success you can genuinely be happy for them. By following a path true to you, regardless of the outcome you hope to achieve, you will feel a sense of satisfaction in knowing that you are on your own journey and you too will reach your goals in life. Whether it be job satisfaction or dropping a few kilos it’s all the same. We all have ambitions, hopes, aspirations, dreams; whatever you want to call them! It’s when we start to lose focus of what we as an individual want in life or stop pushing ourselves to go after it that we can begin to act bitterly towards those who do.

Go after what it is that you want; eat the way you want to eat because it makes you feel great or workout 6 times a week because you have a bikini you want to look amazing in. But do so with dignity and a passion that ignites a spark in others and not a negative attitude that leaves a foul taste in someone’s mouth.

Don’t wish for what others have and be envious that you don’t have it. Make your own goals, race after them and I guarantee everything else will fall into place…

I hate burpees…

Seriously, I would rather let someone punch me in the throat than do burpees but they are great for your core and fitness so I suck it up and do them. Much like I use escalators when there are no stairs to take (I mean seriously, they are so unsafe!) and I go to the dentist even though I am petrified.

We all have to do things we don’t like to do because deep down we know the outcome is good for us.

But what happens when we are faced with a situation where we have to make a choice that goes against how we feel, a classic case of head versus heart? Where logic defies love and you come to the realisation that the choice you are about to make is going to rip a little piece of you away.

I had one such moment last week when I made the decision to have my puppy re-homed. It wasn’t an overnight decision – it had been niggling away at me for weeks.

Here was this animal that loved me unconditionally even though since moving into a new place and taking on additional training and studying, was getting less attention than she deserved and yet was still so excited to see me at the end of each work day she would literally beam at me through the garden gates.

I don’t think there’s one thing I could have done wrong in her eyes and as long as she got just 5 minutes with me, the fact I was at home less and less would fly straight out of her mind. I could have carried on the way I was going, spending what time I did have with her and putting my guilt to one side. And the emotional side of me wanted to do this so badly because who can honestly say they ever want to let go of something they love? Where is the logic in making yourself unhappy?

But if you really think about it, the very fact that you love something or someone is the reason you want the very best for them, regardless of whether or not it’s you that can provide that. Here I was, torn between making a decision based on my head and heart when it suddenly clicked – they weren’t actually in disagreement. Both in fact knew what the right decision was and had come to a mutual understanding.

Logic was telling me I didn’t have the time for her, that with my ever increasing work and study load our time together would become less and less. And even though I loved her and she brought me so much happiness, my heart ached for a life I knew she deserved and wasn’t getting from me.

As I write this pups is no longer here – her new family are spoiling her with constant affection and she went to a home where people are with her all day. Do I feel sad for what I did? Guilty for buying her in the first place only to give her up? Yes and no. Yes because a part of me feels like a failure for not trying harder and I miss her little face when I get home. It was the first bond i’d ever formed with something from a young age and my first true experience of feeling like a life was dependant on me. But more importantly, no. Because deep down I know I made the right decision and even though I don’t feel too good about it now, her quality of life is the best it can be and that means more to me than I can explain in a blog post.

This won’t be the first time I have to make a hard decision i’m sure but it’s true what they say; the hardest thing to do is normally the right thing….

Friendship is good for the soul

My dog is my best friend. There, I said it. She makes me smile every day and does things that literally have me snorting I laugh so hard. She listens, she makes me happy and she is there for me always. That’s the definition of a friend right?

As a human we all have this basic desire to do things that make us feel good about ourselves. We work all year round for that holiday or we buy a new pair of shoes because they winked at us and made us feel special. We exercise to release feel good endorphins or we have sex to…well…you know 😉

Friends are the beings that leave footprints on your soul and a smile on your face. They love you for you and they do so without judgement or jealousy. For me a life without friends would be a lonely place. My crazy, irrational, emotional, sensitive, geeky self is enhanced by the beings I choose to have around me and call my buddies.

People come and go but these guys, these guys are wedged firmly in my heart.

Have you ever had one of those moments where you meet someone new for the first time and you just know? It takes something so simple like a comment or a common interest or a joke that no one else would think was funny and that’s it – you know you have years ahead of you filled with tequila, spooning and tears. You are going to speak to this person so much about the same shit yet never get bored or you’re going to have no contact with them for years and when you meet again, it’s like you saw them just yesterday.

This person is going to slut drop with you on the dance floor like the best of them, eat that piece of cake when you’ve had your heart broken and help to pick you back up when you make a mistake. They are there when you are at your best and there when you are at your worst and they want nothing in return; they do it just because.

When you have these people in your life you stop thinking that friendship is based on quantity and start to realise that it’s about quality. You feel whole and accepted – you are a part of something that cannot be faked and is not based on what you do or don’t have. You start to understand more about the person you are as you see it mirrored in the friends around you.

Without a shadow of a doubt friendship is such an important thing when it comes to being your best self and we cannot expect to live a positive life if we surround ourselves with negative people. Life is too short to waste on people that bring you down and stepping away from those that do doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you an honest one.

My friends enhance all of the good qualities I have and help to silence the bad ones. They make me feel lucky and at times, a little big headed because I think to myself “If these amazing people are making an effort to be in my life, does that mean I’m a little bit amazing too?”

It doesn’t matter if you have one or several of these friends in your life; what matters is that you make them feel just as lucky as you do right now…

Who are we to judge?

I think unfortunately it’s in our nature to judge. As a species we are so competitive and constantly strive to be better and there is nothing wrong with that. But does being our best self make as any better than the person next to us? Does eating a sugar free diet make us better than our friend who starts her day off with a croissant and jam? Or does the fact that we run 5 kilometres every day make us better than the stranger we travel past doing a fast walk?

The answer is no.

Being a truly wonderful version of you is not all based on a rocking body that you feel confident in and an attitude to match – it goes so much deeper than that. You aren’t better than someone simply because you have worked for a body you’re proud of or because you haven’t eaten a carbohydrate in 2 years. And your idea of a happy weight or way to eat is more than likely going to be completely different to at least 90% of the rest of the population so why waste your breath judging others around you just because they don’t believe in what you do?

Be proud of what you have achieved and the journey you have taken. Share it with others and be excited that you have found yourself! But beware the fine line of sharing and preaching…

I like to remind myself sometimes that if I could eat ice cream covered with marshmallows and toffee sauce and chocolate sprinkles and caramel wafers…caramel…caramel…caramel………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..where was I? Oh right ice cream! So I like to ask myself, if I could eat ice cream with let’s say (to be on the safe side) a variety of delightful toppings for each meal for the rest of my life and not work out and have the body of a Victoria’s Secret Angel then would I? Uhhhh hell yeah! I mean who wouldn’t right? But the simple fact of the matter is that just won’t work for me and the harsh truth is i’d probably kill myself within a year or turn into a 99 flake. Oh and just so we’re clear I wouldn’t last longer than a day as a 99 flake as either i’d eat myself or the dog would so this is just not an option for me! The point is if we are really honest with ourselves, we would most likely choose the easy way if it were viable in helping us achieve our goals. Only it’s never that simple and if it were, well it wouldn’t be a journey now would it.

So instead we set our goals and we work hard for them, sometimes making sacrifices and doing things that we might not always want to do and yes I get it. I understand the frustration that can arise when you say no to the bread basket or no to that cocktail with your friends because it’s not going to help with your class tomorrow. I appreciate it can be difficult and seem a little unfair and so when we finally hit our goal we may somehow think we are ever so slightly inferior to everyone else. But step down from your pedestal and don’t judge because they’re on their third cosmopolitan of the night – it’s not their journey remember.

Instead be graceful and embrace their choices as you would hope for them to embrace yours because after all, what’s so special about everyone being the same??

Make your journey a positive one by letting go of any negativity and in doing so you’ll make it so much easier for yourself, I promise 🙂

The Fear of Change

Nobody likes change. Familiarity is the security blanket that so many of us wrap ourselves up in and whilst routine can be good, sometimes it can hinder us.

We tend to not question what we know or what we have been told because more often than not, what we are already doing works for us. We think our diet is ok because we haven’t had that heart attack yet and we ignore the glaringly obvious benefits of a healthier lifestyle because right now we’re are getting away with it. We believe there is no problem because there are no symptoms and therefore, why would there be the need for change?

How scary would it be to go against the grain and make a change in your life simply because?

When I left England I wasn’t running from anything. I hadn’t had a bad experience and I wasn’t unhappy. I have a Mum who’s more like a best friend, a family that could give the Brady Bunch a run for their money and friends I’d walk through fire for. So why leave?

All I can say is I had this feeling that there was more out there, that in order to be the best version of myself I needed to experience so much more and get out of my bubble. I had to take a risk and get comfortable with doing the uncomfortable and be at my most vulnerable which is when I think a person is their very most truthful self. I took a leap of faith, I took the rough with the smooth and after a good 6 months of questioning whether I had made the right decision or not, I eventually I made a whole new life for myself. And as I sit here typing this I honestly couldn’t tell you what I’ll doing be in the next five years or even where I’ll be. But I can say I’m glad I didn’t wait for there to be a problem before I did something about it. I’m glad I didn’t wait until I was 40 and settled down with a family and not able to do something so life alteringly difficult such as move to the other side of the world. I’m glad I made one of the biggest decisions of my life to date based on the smallest of feeling.

If you can apply this your own life every day then you will see how being brave can get you closer to the person you want to be. Don’t wait for there to be a problem before you make a change – make a change to do something great! Don’t conform to a way of living just because you don’t know any different and yet don’t be afraid to be different.

Just because your best friend runs 5 miles every day and eats protein only, it doesn’t mean you have to. Just because your boyfriend thinks a raw diet is “extreme” it doesn’t mean you can’t adopt a new lifestyle that you’re excited about and believe in. And just because you’re “ok” with how things are in your life right now doesn’t mean you have to settle for just ok and there isn’t something more out there for you.

And remember than an exciting life isn’t one that necessarily comes from leaving home and travelling the world. The excitement comes from within, digging deep and doing what you know to be right for you! It’s about accepting that change is an inevitable part of the journey you take when you stop trying to be like everybody else and start to be you.

You have the right to have a very special life that is unique to you and you only but it won’t simply fall in your lap….you have to be brave, make a change and start living it 🙂

David Wolfe – My Best Day Ever!

What better way to start my “Pecan Princess People” section than with a date with David Wolfe himself!

Unfortunately it wasn’t the by candlelight with music type of date and I did have to share him with about 300 others but it was amazing all the same.

“The best day ever!” was held at the Ridges Perth and seeing that I’ve never been to a raw food conference before, I wasn’t really sure what to expect…

When you think of raw foods, do you think of a rabbit munching on a carrot? Or a hippie type lady smoking whilst dancing around a campfire with no underwear on? Glad I wasn’t the only one then 🙂

It’s that typical situation of us not understanding something new so we fear it and stereotype it, a little bit afraid of accepting change. But I needn’t have feared because I was met with 3 of the most exciting hours of my life from a nutritional perspective. David literally BLEW MY MIND!

Not only did he discuss the hundreds of super foods out there and the effects they can have on various diseases, he also talked about how we can prevent illnesses before they even happen, all whilst delivering this information in a fun and interesting way. He kept me hanging on to his every word.

David was also very relatable, being a man who had grown up with a different outlook on life than the one he shares now. He followed the typical over processed, harmful westernised diet that many people currently live and so he talks from experience.

Here is some of the information I took away from David:

The top 10 anti-aging super foods are chocolate (raw cacao), olive oil, tobacco, honey and port wine (the unprocessed kind)
Cacao is higher than any other plant in iron and is also high in magnesium. This combination could explain why women crave chocolate when we have our period so let your partner know this the next time he sees you tucking into a raw chocolate bliss ball 😉
Foods that are black are the best for you such as schisandra berries and olives (when an olive falls to the ground from the tree and has not been touched by man)
Foods that look like body parts help that body part. For example a walnut is good for your brain, a tomato is good for your heart, celery for your bones and berries for your eyes.
Salt is amazing for us! But not the kind we find in processed food. The natural kind. In fact warm salt water can help with many problems and has been spoken about for years, it’s just in our current day and age the message has become somewhat contorted.
Medicinal mushrooms (shiitake, chaga, trametes, reishi etc.) are the most powerful healing foods.
We need to be stacking the favours in our odds, implementing small changes daily that set us on the path towards self-healing.
Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.

And the most important thing I took away from the 3 hours was this following piece of information:

DEVELOP SOPHISTICATION ABOUT YOUR BODY – ACTIVATE SELF HEALING AT HOME. TRY EVERYTHING OUT THERE AND FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOOD FOR YOU.

No one way of living is right. What suits one person may not suit you so listen to your body, try new things and eventually you can feel what works for you and what doesn’t.

For me David confirmed something I’ve thought for a good 6 months or so now – that we as a generation have made things all too difficult. We have become far more “materialised” as he put it and now conform to a way of living because we have been brought up with it in our faces. Everyone in the room that night had reached a point in their life where they knew that there was something more out there, something they hadn’t quite sussed out yet or were on the cusp of realising. Some had had a life threatening disease and had witnessed the miracle of food and lifestyle changes for themselves whilst others were more than likely there just to see what all the fuss was about.

Whatever our reasons, I don’t think anyone can say they left that room without plenty to think about. I know I certainly didn’t. And whilst I didn’t go 80% raw the following day, I have incorporated more raw veggies and fruit into my diet daily since and am on a mission to make a mean raw cheesecake very soon. I accepted a while ago now that what I had been brought up believing was good for me, simply isn’t so a lot of what he said rang true for me.

David lives an amazing life travelling worldwide and experiencing the world in a light I’ve never seen. It’s one to be respected and I feel a little more blessed just for having heard about it. The universe has everything ready in place for us to be our best versions and I think he realised that a little bit sooner than the rest of us…

Take yourself out of the box…

Did you know that I’ve been a vegan? I’ve been a raw foodist (for a day – it was really hard!) I’ve been a tomboy, a horse rider, a singer, an artist, a runner – the list goes on and on.

Until recently I’ve always thought that I had to give myself a label or be good at one particular thing in order to have any self-worth, that I had to be the funny one or the pretty one or the clever one. I dabbled in various things whether it be a new hobby or a type of diet that looked interesting or a new idea and each time I felt a little let down that I didn’t feel more like I’d found my place…

And then one day it dawned on me. I am not just one thing – I am several. And the label that I had been trying to give myself for so long was staring me straight in the face. It was called “Emma”.

I am Emma. I love animals, dancing like an idiot, laughing so hard at absolutely nothing, being a geek, wearing no makeup and trackies, dressing up to go out, high shoes, wearing no shoes, eating food with my hands, having a night in alone, watching funny videos on You Tube, singing in the car, the sunshine, the rain, the snow, early mornings and lay ins. I am made up of a million things that allow me to be one thing – me.

And the same goes for what I now eat and how I life my daily life. If I want to eat raw foods one day, I will. If I want to go easy on the meat another day, helloooo “Meat Free Monday”. If I’ve cut out all dairy but one day a Nutella jar is looking up at me screaming “EAT ME!” then chances are I’m going to nose dive in head first and you won’t see me for several hours.

I now make decisions on what I want and how I want to feel and I take away all of the pressure that’s involved in conforming to be one particular thing. Because let’s face it, life is forever changing and on some levels you have to just kind of go with it.

And to be quite honest, having this kind of balanced approach seems to be working for me. Nothing is off limits. If I want to eat ice cream for a whole day and nothing else, I will. If I want to go out and drink tequila and throw some t rex shapes on the dance floor, I’m doing it!

Making healthy and clever decisions seems to come more naturally now I don’t restrict or ban or class myself as one thing or another. Life is about having fun with friends and family and living in the moment! I want to eat well and workout most of the time because this is what keeps my body healthy and carries me to that next fun moment so it makes sense for me to do this. But drinking cocktails and sharing a bag of malteesers occasionally with my girls is what’s good for my soul and isn’t that just as important…?

I have butterflies!!

Eeeeeeeekkk so here it is! My very first blog post! I guess I’d probably best start off with why am I here, why This Pecan Princess?

For as long as I can remember I’ve felt a little bit inadequate, a little bit anxious and a little bit sensitive… I’ve made decisions based on what I don’t necessarily agree with or want to do but what I thought would eventually make me happy.

Then one day on a complete whim I thought, I’m going to move to Australia. I’m going to leave everything and everyone I’ve known for 25 years behind me and go and live over 8000 miles away. I mean why not right?

So after 8 months of planning and saving and boring everyone around me with monthly, weekly and daily count downs, I left. And life was never the same again. In fact it was the most awful it’s ever been for a time.

Do you know what happens when you have nothing and nobody familiar around you? When you don’t even recognise the street you are on and have no one to call and talk to about your day? You start to look at yourself long and hard and start over thinking things and it becomes very apparent (and very quickly too) if there is something you aren’t happy with. Because you literally have nothing else to do but to search within yourself. You aren’t going about your normal routine, rushing around and blocking out thoughts and feelings. For once you can actually hear the noise in your head and you can’t escape it! It’s a scary thing.

But it was the best thing to ever happen to me. It made me face what I had been hiding from for so long. All of these little niggling doubts about the types of people I should be having in my life or the food I was eating because I had been told it was good for me or the lifestyle I should live because that’s what you do when you’re an adult. I was at a cross roads and it was time to start making decisions based on what was best for me…

I started to be kinder to myself, working out because I enjoyed it and trying new forms of exercise which lead to making new friendships. Eating wholesome foods because they actually made me feel good and not because a new diet said I should eat them. I began to form friendships based on people who brought out the best in me and I them and I said goodbye to the people that brought me down instead of holding on to them for fear of feeling like a bitch.

And then one day it hit me – i’m happy! And it was all down to the simplest of changes, so simple in fact I can break it down into one sentence for you:

Treat your body and soul with kindness and happiness is yours for the taking.

That’s it! Just those 14 little words and yet it had taken me 25 years to figure it out.

So why it had taken me so long to realise where I was going wrong? It’s because the everyday noise and bullshit around me had prevented me from waking up to it sooner.

And so, This Pecan Princess was born!

My site is dedicated to promoting a healthy and balanced lifestyle that is maintainable by anyone and everyone. It doesn’t focus on a size or a shape and there is no right and wrong. I am not a personal trainer or a nutritionist and I don’t have a degree in psychology. What I am an expert in though is me. My thoughts, my feelings, my wellbeing and my happiness and if how I live my life can help or inspire even just one other person out there who is just as lost as I was, well then that makes me feel all giddy inside!

So welcome! This is the first of many posts to come, posts about wholesome foods, exercise, positivity, love, friendship and an overall healthy and happy lifestyle that leads to just one thing – your very best you 🙂